Unluckily my butt is large and mound-like, so scorpions confuse it with sand dunes.*

I was laying in bed and this decided to crawl over my bum. Being the expert scorpion-wrangler that I am, I immediately clutched at it (miraculously not getting stung this time) and threw it off my bed, screaming like a little girl. I jumped up and turned the lights on and saw it clinging to the side of my mattress. I grabbed a little glass container and the first piece of cardstock I could find and proceeded to escort the little jerk to the front yard (That's right. I only kill cockroaches and flies).

However, on my way through the living room I realized how appropriate it was that the first piece of cardstock I found was this desert illustration, turned around, went back to my room, and took pictures. Then I threw it out in the yard.
*The title of this blog should be sung to the tune of Shakira's "Whenever, Wherever"